To Live and Die
by ladyofwitches
Summary: When Bonnie decides she has to change her life before she loses it she enlists of the king of living to the beat of his own drum, Kol Mikealson. They come up with a list of — The List of Life — all things she has to do at least once in her life. Takes place after Mikealson ball in 3x14.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, I'm fatima, I'm a lover of Bonnie Bennett and her getting all the love she deserves. This is my first fic! I have so many ships that julie and co didn't give the respect they deserved. Please bear with me while I get the hang of everything. Leave comments please— suggestions on how I could better my fics and what not— THANK YOU

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO L.J SMITH.**

* * *

Chapter_** One: The collide**_

Bonnie laid on her bed staring up at the spinning ceiling fan while elena and caroline got ready for the Mikaelson ball. She hadn't been formally invited like caroline and elena but even if she had she wouldn't go, to mix and mingle and pretend she didn't hate them with the power of a thousand sounds? ha! She was a good actress but not that good that's why she played minor parts in their school plays while caroline got all the leads.

"Do you think this dress makes my ass look too fat?" she heard caroline ask elena. They had come over to get ready for the ball at her house since her house wasn't invaded by parents or siblings.

"No care your ass looks fine." Elena said trying to ease caroline's insecurities away.

"Fine! Fine! I need it to look magnificent not fine." Caroline outcried checking her ass in one of the many dresses she was trying on. She liked them so much that she compelled the dress store to lend them all to her. Elena emerged from the bathroom and walked over to bonnie and laid down beside her on her faced bonnie

"You should come with us, there is still time to find you a dress and shoes. Knowing caroline she has probably already found you a dress." Bonnie's lips twitched, a smile slowly emerging.

"Maybe." her eyes never straying from the ceiling wall. She didn't sound convincing to her own ears so she knew elena could see right through it.

"what's going on bon? you've kind of been somewhere else, I credited it to the stress of school but it's something else." Bonnie opened her mouth to try to articulate her feelings but closed it abruptly. Elena wasn't one to give up on so she squeezed bonnie's hands

"Tell me. please." she said her eyes pleading with bonnie.

"I can't lena, I can't be around the Mikaelsons without seeing red. I'll probably set the whole place on fire if I go. " Her voice came out hard and vicious, she doesn't remember ever feeling this way about anything and she hates it. She was angry all the time now. She fantasized about killing them, all the vampires in mystic falls really. Her life was different before the vampires had arrived, she can't remember it now, everything is clouded, her judgment, her morals, her beliefs.

"Bonnie."

"Bonnie"

She felt someone touched her knee. Caroline was touching her, she didn't remember Caroline leaving the bathroom.

"Sorry, what were you saying care ?" Bonnie said now sitting on the bed. Caroline was standing in her lace bra and panties, her face looking confusingly at bonnie.

"I said, why aren't you coming?" Caroline questions her blonde eyebrow arched

"Caroline I just-"

"No, never mind I don't want to hear it, you're coming, we are going to dress up like princesses, duchesses! Richest of them all. Drink fancy champagne and dance with cute boys that we won't have to see in the morning, because that's what teenage girls do." Caroline declared folding her arms across her chest leaving bonnie little room for argument.

"but we aren't just normal teenage girls, we'll go and party tonight and then _maybe_ wake up tomorrow praying we don't accidentally kill someone and that we, _ourselves_, she put emphasis on /ourselves/, don't get killed."

Elena and Caroline, her two best friends, Elena was there to be the soft voice in the chaos. Caroline was a type A person, ready to fix everyone and everything instantly, but it was bonnie that had magic. It was bonnie who had to work herself to exhaustion to fix the mess that she never asked for, she loved them, Caroline and Elena, but they didn't understand, they couldn't understand. Everything was as simple as ABC to those girls and unfortunately she could not relate.

Caroline sighed and walked over and sat down softly on the bed. Her outer thigh brushing Bonnie's thigh.

"I know this year has been hard for you, harder than it's ever been, but I don't want you to give up on life because this is the only life we have. It's hard and confusing but it's all we have." Caroline's voice was softer than she ever heard. Usually she was always barking orders to everyone but never were those orders as softly said as this. Bonnie started to feel the tears pool in her eyes.

"We should skip the ball, we'll stay in watch rom-coms and listen to caroline gush over every male lead and swoon over every unbelievable declaration of love." Elena said wrapping her arms around her friends.

"_They love me" bonnie thought. _

"what do you say bonnie?" Elena said her eyes gleamed with hope. Bonnie looked between her two friends and squeezed them hard like they were seconds from were excited for the ball, for a chance to be normal teenage girls and she wouldn't take that away from them plus she could use time alone to unwind.

"No, you guys go, I want you guys to, you are excited for the idea of the ball. Seriously I'm fine!" She said with as much genuine excitement she could muster, when she saw caroline studying her to see if she was actually okay.

"Are you sure? Movies do sound better than a boring not eventful ball." Elena said wiggling her eyebrows. Bonnie laughed.

"Yes, I'm sure." Bonnie told her. After bonnie convinced them she was pair got ready, caroline even wore the dress Klaus gave her, bonnie was still skeptical of Klaus and his intentions with Caroline but his taste was impeccable that much she couldn't deny. The girls left half an hour ago to the ball to meet Damon and Stefan. She left the liveliness leave when they left, the house had no life, all it had was bonnie and memories of her past and the life she didn't have anymore. No dad trying to make dinner but burning it and having to order out. No grams to read bonnie papers her students had written. Just Bonnie.

Bonnie huffed staring outside her bedroom window. A friday night and she was alone yet again. She might not be ready to go outside her comfort zone and mingle with the Mikealsons at the ball but that didn't mean she would trap herself in her house. She shouldn't let them run her out of her own town. They were the invaders, not her.

"_well maybe this was their town first" she thought. But still _this was her town and she still had a life and she would use it. She switched out of her creme colored pajama set and got dressed in a light wash denim jeans and paired it with a yellow cropped top. She got into her navy blue Kia Optima pondered on where to go

"Maybe Mystic grill?" She thought out loud. Nope, too many grown folk that would look at her with sad eyes and remind her how she had an absentee father and a dead grandma. She just started the car and drove until she saw the sign that said leaving mystic falls, she was just outside of Virginia when she found a bar that didn't look like she'd contract some type of bacterial infection.

She walked in and saw it was spurs and she instantly felt okay knowing that no one back home would know where she'd been. She went to the bar and was glad that Caroline made them get fake IDs, just as she was about to call a bartender the hairs on her neck stood. It only did that when she came in contact with..

"_Vampire" _Bonnie whispered. She began scanning her eyes around the bar and came face to face with the same people she was running from. A Mikaelson, the most annoying one. Kol.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two: Snark and Fire**_

He was talking to a girl, Still dressed in his suit from the ball, poor girl didn't know the only meal he was going to have with her was in fact her. He leaned into the girl like he was going in for a kiss. Bonnie blushed feeling like she was intruding on a moment that didn't need a third party. She felt a tap on her shoulder, she jumped.

"Bonnie Bennett, I presume?" Kol said his voice smooth like a nice soft breeze. He was standing inches away from her, looking like had just found his entertainment for the night. Kol Mikaelson was the youngest of the bunch, she heard that he was the bad boy that lived in the moment like everyday was his last, as if he wasn't an immortal vampire. He had all the girls in mystic falls tripping over themselves for a mere smile, all he had to do was say something or just breathe and he turned the girls into his personal maidens.

"Do I know you?" she hoped her eyes portrayed confusion, she wasn't in the mood to deal with the undead tonight. She was already ticked off that the day she decided to do something _normal_ with her life in mystic falls, something twitchy not quite witchy managed to still follow her.

"No, We haven't properly met but I hope to remedy that tonight." He gave her a dimpled grin. Damn his accent was just as sexy as Caroline said.

"Actually, I'm on my way out." she stood from the stool and gathered her bag making her way to the door.

"You just arrived," blocking her path.

"The entertainment isn't to my liking and I don't feel like being someone's dinner." She narrowed her eyes at him. The bastard laughed and she would be lying if she didn't say it made her stomach flutter at little. When he finished laughing he asked her

"Why aren't you at my mother's ball tonight?" He asked clearly taken aback by the fact that she wasn't with the rest of her friends. They were wide eyed looking at the mansion—that was decorated to the nines— they arrived just before he snuck out. Probably living their princess fantasy. Ah. How he just loved bright eyed teenage girls.

"Move out of my way kol before I move you." Her jaw was clenched and her voice cold resembling the tone it took a few hours ago. She tried to go around him again, but he wouldn't give her space to evade him.

"Are you too scared to even have a conversation with me, _love_? I promise not to bite and unless you beg me to" he wiggled his eyebrows

"Just one conversation bonnie and then you may run along away from the big bad wolf." He pulled a stool for her at the bar and sat on one himself. She stood there, she could leave, she didn't have to sit with him, she didn't owe him shit. She exhaled. A small voice in the back of her head maybe the devil on her shoulder said it was one conversation, how bad could he be? When was the last time she did something that wasn't good or _very_ nice? She couldn't remember. She walked over and sat on the stool but not before moving the stool a couple inches away from Kol. She feared that he might be able to hear and _feel_ the constant pounding of her heart against her rib cage.

"Why aren't you- I mean why aren't you at the ball?" she threw his earlier question back at him.

"To dress up and pretend that we are the picture of beauty, grace and wealth? instead of monsters that rule the night?" He chucked and continued his eyes never leaving bonnie

"No, it doesn't interest me to hide who I am, I am completely content in who I am and If others aren't, well dear, they can fuck off." He raised his hand to signal the bartender.

Bonnie was taken aback, he actually sounded a bit human just there. The bartender came looking at kol with interest and not paying any attention to bonnie.

_I must have spelled myself to be invisible _Bonnie said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

"I missed you last week, you didn't have to leave right before sunrise" she gave him a wounded puppy look.

"Now, Zelda, you know how I operate." Kol said giving her a lopsided grin. Bonnie could see the girl blush a little, even underneath the tattoos on her neck and down her arms. Slapping the bar table he said

"Now, my new friend and I would like two old fashioned."

"Water, please." Bonnie said narrowing her eyes at Kol

"Boo! you're no fun." Kol said frowning at bonnie. Bonnie's lips twitched, he was animated.

"So, little witch why didn't you go to mummy dearest's ball?" He asked taking a gulp of his drink.

She shrugs looking everywhere but towards him, and says

"Wasn't invited."

"hmm"

"well you aren't missing much, It was a bore before I left and I'm imagining it's still a bore."

She laughed

"Ah! The always contained Bonnie Bennett does know how to laugh and what a lovely sound it is."

"Shut up." looking over at the group of friends singing Karaoke on the stage so he wouldn't see her blush. She stared at the group of friends, 2 boys and 2 girls, the girls were on the stage singing and dancing awfully to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl" while the boys sat in the front row and switched from laughing and cheering on the girls. They seemed a little older than her maybe in their early 20's. They seemed happy like the world was theirs for the taking. She wished that was her, Elena, Caroline and Matt. They weren't carefree or reckless like teens should be, well at least, not anymore.

"Fancy yourself a good singer? We could go sing some Karaoke?" He let out, Trying to lighten the mood

"I would, but not with you." her voice was low. She turned to face him, her eyes were sad and she didn't even hide it.

"Look, Kol, I'm going to be honest because you value transparency just as much I do, you might be an interesting guy and have the whole sexy vampire thing going for you, but I came here to do something different than I normally do and get away from all things supernatural and I've managed to do is talk to you—who I don't know or trust— and realize how much I miss my life before I found out about witches and vampires, So yes I want to go sing and have fun but not with you." She said standing and getting her wallet out and putting a $30 dollar bill on the sped past the group of friends to get to the door. She had finally let the tears fall from her face as soon as she was outside. Her back pressed on the brick wall in the alleyway near the bar, she was trying to catch her breath, her heart is beating ferociously.

"Breathe through your nose." She whipped her head to see Kol standing a few feet apart from her.

"You're having a panic attack." His tone even and sure.

"I-I" Bonnie says gasping for air. Kol comes so they are inches apart and she can smell him.

"Shhh. Just breathe." He takes her face in his hands wiping away her tears. She inhales and exhales, her chest rising and falling heavily. Somehow she relaxes into him and he's holding her in his arms and she's lax in his arms.

"There you go, better now." He whispers just above her ears while caressing her hair.

Nothing about the moment was in the slightest bit sexual, despite their current position and his reputation. Bonnie felt everything but desire, she felt calm, safe, vulnerable.

It was something intimate more than anything, a moment to be remembered and forgotten in the alleyway of a depressing night.

l


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all those who are reading! Please keep coming back because it's going to be a crazy fun ride from here on out! Thank you for the reviews, it means the world and those who are following the story! Please, if you have a chance , give the story a review it keeps me motivated to write! God or bad I don't mind really. Thank you again! - F

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO L.J SMITH.**

* * *

_2 weeks later_

She had school, cheer and her magic training. She has all those things yet she feels like she has nothing at all.

" , am I boring you this evening? " Bonnie looks sheepishly at her English teacher . "Do pay attention ." The woman reprimanded her. She couldn't seem to concentrate these days, everything seems so vague and oh so far away from her mind. Kol Mikelson held her while she cried, that was not something she could wrap around her head and definitely not in spanish class. After she finally came to her scene she got in her car and drove away, she just prays that's the last time she'll ever see him.

The bell rang dismissing them to lunch. She packs her journals and walks down to her locker to get her packed lunch, because the cafeteria hates her like everything else in her life; it doesn't seem to have any vegetarian options.

"So he gave me a dress and said some smooth words, that does not mean I'll drop my panties for him." She hears Caroline say, before she sees her. She makes to turn the other way but it's too late.

"Bonnie Sheila Bennett! Don't make me chase you, because I will!" Caroline says walking towards her, Elena falling close behind her.

She plasters on a fake winning smile. "Hey guys" She hadn't told them what happened and she never would, she was taking it to the grave because she didn't even understand it and they definitely wouldn't either so it was better she kept it to herself.

"Don't hey guys us missy, you've been avoiding us, so we are going to find out why" Caroline orders, hooking her left hand with Elena and her right one with Bonnie and drags them off to the cafeteria.

As soon as they find a table, Josh Hopkins sits right in front of them. He's the baseball captain also incredibly handsome & comes from money. He's actually a pretty decent guy once he gets his eyes off Caroline's chest that is. "Ladies, I'm having a birthday bash this Friday and I'd love for all of you to come." He smiles at us.

"Let me guess, It's a pool party." Caroline said tilting her head to the side.

"Ahhh, you know me so well, So you guys in or what?" Wiggling his eyebrows

Caroline looks at them, silently trying to see if they were going or not. Elena shrugged.

"We'll see if we can Josh." Bonnie said giving him a small smile. Josh was one of bonnie first crushes, and she still had a soft spot for him because he as normal and she knew he wouldn't suck her blood on the first date or use her for her magic.

"Bonnie B! don't break my heart." He gave her a puppy dog face. It kind of reminded her of Kol. She blushed.

As soon as he left Caroline pounced on her. "You should definitely sleep with him, do you see the way he was looking longingly at you." Caroline started to shake her excitedly "We are so going!"

"Care, he was just being friendly. " She said not wanting to believe that he actually did.

"Actually, he wasn't though. He was flirting with you." Elena said.

"Please, let's go, please, please." Caroline begged trying to give the sweetest smile she'd had. She looked at Elena and she was also giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." She said rolling her eyes trying to keep the small smile off her face.

The bell for last period resumed and Caroline went to Chem, Elena went to English, Bonnie went to History, her least favorite subject.

"Everyone pick up a note card but keep it face down." The teacher said. Bonnie looked around at her classmates but they were just as confused as she was.

"History, is well History. I know many of you find the subject boring because it's not relevant to your lives now. I've thought long and hard on how to show you history must be learnt or we'll lose the future." Mr. Gaspin said, he was the youngest teacher here. Shaggy brown hair and soft eyes. He had hope in his eyes that he could actually help the students. Bonnie before would've thought it was admirable but now she thought it was hopeless. "So pick flip your note card and meet your new partner for 2 months."

The class collectively groaned, there was nothing in the world did teens hate more the group projects, bonnie being one of them.

"Ah, Mr. Mikaelson, class started 20 minutes ago." said narrowing his eyes at none other than Kol Mikealson. There he stood in all his 6'1" glory, if bonnie had to guess. He was in a in black leather jacket, navy blue henley, dark denim jeans, army boots and had freshly fucked hair, it looked like he just came out of an Ad.

"I do love to make a good entrance." He said giving the man a smirk. opened his mouth to respond but closed like he knew Kol wasn't the type to not have the last retort. He shook his head and left to print the instructions

Bonnie could feel the moment his eyes landed on her. She kept her head down like she was concentrating on the passages in the textbook. He cleared his throat, still she wouldn't look up. Maybe if she looked lost in the history book he would leave.

_Please dear God let him leave_ Bonnie thought.

"Now you know how volatile I can be when I don't get attention, darling." He said taking a seat and bringing it close to her until their knees were touching. Kol was insufferable, he demanded attention at all times, he liked the reactions he pulled out of people, whether it was lust, fear or happiness but Bonnie couldn't figure out why he wanted them from her. She finally looked up, she gave him a bored look and said

"Please, don't tell me you wish to relive your youth at highschool."

"Just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I shouldn't continue to expand my knowledge."

"You were probably there when all of these were happening or helped caused it."

"Well, I did help with the boston tea party." She couldn't help it she laughed until tears pulled in her eyes, he had this ability to make her do things with him that she shouldn't. Everyone was watching them and she couldn't careless. Mr. Gaspin came back in and bonnie finally flipped her card to see Kol's name written on it. Just great, he'd be apart of her life for 2 months all while she plotted how to kill him and his family, not complicated at all. The rest of the class was spent talking about the project and her trying to figure out how she'd survive 2 months with Kol.

The bell rang and she sprang up, collected her books and left the class, she was almost in her car when she felt him, or the vampire feeling she had, and Stefan wasn't much of a talker, well to her anyway and she despised Damon, he wouldn't dare to come near her so that left Kol.

"Oh partner." He sang wiggling his finger in the air. Bonnie groaned and pressed her forehead to the hood of her car.

"Go away." She growled.

"So, your house or mine?" He ignored her.

"Neither."

"We better start soon, I want that bloke to swallow his pride and tell us that we had the best project."

"You could always compel him to."

"Ah, Ah. That's no fun." His eyes sparking with mischief, it was his type of fun and they both knew it.

"Fine, yours. Now goodbye. " She got in her car and sped away.

"God what have I done." She said out loud in the privacy of her car. "Ughhhhhhh" She was doomed.

* * *

She stood outside the medium sized was the address Kol had given her yesterday at parking lot. She was a few minutes late she had a meeting with Ester and Abby, Ester wants Bonnie and Abby to join her when she kills her children in a few weeks. She shouldn't be here, he'll know that she's hiding something. Ester said to go and act like everything is normal. Bonnie doesn't trust her but she knows she needs to appease the spirits and if the originals are gone then maybe she'll be able to get her life. She exhales and decides to stop being a wimp and raises her hand to knock on the door but the door whipped open with Kol standing in nothing but a towel.

"While, the apprehension of you coming inside my home is quite cute, I couldn't take it anymore." He says with a bemused smile. "Welcome to my home." he says after she's entered. She's looking at anywhere but him knowing she's going to blush if she looks. His place is filled with art on every wall, from sexy pictures of barely clothed women or abstract work to a picture of a boy standing in the middle of a burning street look serene: His furniture is all black or grey. He has sculptures of greek goddess in the dining room, she's surprised to know he's a history buff. Finally she has enough of feeling him so near, her skin feels warm,

"Can you please change so we can start this project." He chuckles like he knows the affect his lack of clothes has on here.

"Your wish is my command, my lady." He comes back minutes late and they promptly start researching topics for the project, to her surprise he's a perfect gentleman, no sexual remarks, no inquiries on her personal life or anything supernatural.

"I need alcohol, I never remembered school to be this boring." He says on the floor while bonnie is propped on the couch, the have textbooks and notebooks all around them. He has the computer now because she forgot to bring hers

"and when was that? the 10th century? 11th?" she hears him chuckle.

"Old jokes, how new." He drawled. He gets up to get the alcohol, he comebacks with two shot glasses.

"C'mon Bennett, lets let loose."

"absolutely not." she pressed her lips together.

"Live, darling, it is your only one."

Kol had a way of making life sound like a grand adventure, he'd live and seen so much and had grand tales to tell, like partying with oscar wilde or meeting Jane Austen. He'd done so much yet he was still a homicidal vampire that killed on wims. She'd be adventurous and naughty and have a drink with a homicidal vampire and then repent by helping his mother kill his entire family.

"One drink and then we go back to research." He grinned like he'd just won the lottery.

"Salute!" He said clinking his glass to bonnie's. He gulped his down but she was still apprehensive, bonnie took a deep breath and just forced it down her throat.

"See not so bad, darling." He laughed at her disgusted facial expression.

"God, scotch is awful."

"The first one is always the most horrendous, try it again." Bonnie was chewing on her lips, she shouldn't but she wanted so badly to have her life to be more than just mystic falls' town witch. So she took the shot and downed it, and eventually it stopped tasting bitter, she kept coming back for more shots. Kol eventually put on some music and it was just the two of them dancing, alone or together. She was uninhibited, just this once she was a 17 year old teen, not responsible to anyone but herself. No doom or big battle she had to face, just music and alcohol and Kol.

"I think we can help each other." Kol says to bonnie. They had settled down and now a smooth violin was playing in the background. He as lying on the floor while she was the main couch. They were both drunk, her more than him. "I need your help." he added

"On what?" She asked him because what could she know that he didn't. She was tired and it was now past 8, she should be going home but the couch was just so comfortable she couldn't move.

"changing my life." she hummed.

"I've been alive for close to a thousand years give or take, and I have no real relationships, this is my last chance." He said so softly that bonnie could barely hear him.

"and you want my help?" she said warily.

"yes, but it wouldn't be without benefit for you, Bennett." Now that got Bonnie's attention. He continued "I could help you live, I've lived over a 1,000 years, I know a thing about being truly alive —even with no heartbeat I might add—,knowing true euphoria. I've watched you, you don't do anything without meticulous thinking. Always weighing the negatives with the positive, that is until you're with me, then you do things you wouldn't do in public or in daylight. I don't want your trust because I won't ever get it, but I would like us to help each other." Bonnie was speechless, she'd never left more seen and heard and it wasn't by the person she wanted. She wanted her friends to see how lost with her identity she was, she wanted her mother to know her, her father to see her and she wanted grams to hold her but mostly she wanted to know adventure and experience great, profound love that shook her to her core. She was so lost and so so tired it felt crushing. She didn't realize she was crying until Kol had was wiping her tears. She was looking at him through her tears when he said "let us help each other no one has to know." He whispered to her like he only wanted her to hear. He was caressing her cheeks. He was so tender with her she almost forgot who he was.

"I have to go." She said getting up. He both got up.

"Let me drop you off." He went upstairs to get his just stood there not knowing what the hell happened,she had a million questions in her head.

In the car it was silent , the only sound was her soft breathing and Kol tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, it was slightly awkward but also comforting. 15 mins later and he was parked outside her house.

"Thank you," she said, fidgeting with her hands. He was lazily draped against the side of his car, "I'll pick up my car tomorrow."

"Bonnie."

"You weren't horrible."

"Bonnie." He took a step towards her.

"I think we got a lot done." She took a step back. She needed space. She needed time, he was her enemy and the lines were blurring and she can't have that, all she has is her anger. Her furious t the vampires who invaded her life, her furious at the spirits for not making her strong enough and furious at herself for being so weak, it's all she sighed and shook his head as if disappointed.

"Just think about it, darling, life is too short to let others control you." He got in his car speed away. Bonnie stood there, in the night the wind picked up a little and knew she had a decision to make, take control of her life or let it perished. To live or die.

* * *

She enters her house, the empty house with 4 rooms but only one bed gets slept on. She sighs, same routine, same life, same bonnie. As she passes the array of pictures on the wall on her way to her room, she stops. A picture of her dad, grams and her at her 10th birthday catches her eye, all she had wish was for that day was for her mom to come home, to love her. Now she has no grams, no dad and no mom to pick her. She screams to no one and everyone at the same time. She takes the picture and throws it, the glass shattering and then she loses it.

She knocks down all the pictures, the pictures of her grams and father are all on the floor. She can't think straight, she doesn't even know what she'd doing until it's too late. She enters her dad's room, pulls draws out, cleas his closet, throws down his CD collection

"Incendia!" Bonnie yells at his belongings but he's never there for them to even truly belong to him anymore.

They go blazing into flames.

She's breathing heavily, she's dazed and confused and so angry. She stands in the middle of his room and tries to figure out how she got here. She taste blood, she brings her shaking fingers to her bleeding nose and wipes it away with the back of her hand.

The damage is done and she can't change it, leaves the room and goes to her own. She lies in her doesn't want this life anymore not like this anyways. She doesn't want to be a pawn anymore or second best. She picks up her phone and scrolls until she finds his name. She texts him, her hand slightly trembling.

"Okay. Let's help each other." She wants to live even if she has to get her enemy to help her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! It's me! And i'm BACK! it's a verrrrry late update I know but school started and I had no time. I'm on break right now so I really stayed up late into some nights to finish this chapter. I've started writing 2 other fics (can you guess for who? If you can I'll publish it early!) Thank you to the reviewers, it means more than you'll ever know. I hope you enjoy chapter 4! and can't wait to hear your thoughts! Leave a review to earn some hugs and kisses xoxoxoxo. - F

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO L.J SMITH.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: A Teenage Affair**.

"_Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs" - Charlotte Bronte_

Bonnie read over the list Kol passed to her in class. It still shocked her she was actually doing this, with him. A thousand year old vampire with homicidal tendencies. To get her life back. How ironic.

_Do I have to do all three at the same time? _She texted Kol. They never really set up rules for how this was supposed to work, I mean Bonnie wanted to but Kol said to live in the moment and do what feels good to them. Yeah, that was gonna bite her in the ass. On top of the project with Kol, her dad was coming home in two days, she fixed as much of his room as possible but she knew it would be a topic once he went in plus they hadn't seen each other in 2 months so it was sure to be awkward. Her relationship with her dad was complicated. She loved him, but she didn't know many things and he didn't really know many things about her. Like what her favorite color was? Or who her celebrity crush was. Or that she could watch Law and Order: SVU all day long. They were strangers that were connected by blood.

They had one thing in common, that Abby Bennett had both left them and they never really got over that heartbreak. When Abby left she left with pieces of him, and bonnie reminds him of that, she knows that. Bonnie hears keys jingle. She looks at her closed door and whispers

"Oh crap."

"Bonnie!" Her father, Rudy Bennett yells.

"Bonnie! you home sweetie?"

He's here. Bonnie felt her heart sped up. She got off her bed and sped downstairs. She was a ball of emotions. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. She halted when she saw him. Her dad was 6'4, clean shaven and dark complexion. When she was little, she remembered how she overheard the female teachers talk about how handsome he was and how they wished he'd get over his wife so they could get to know him _better. _

Rudy Bennett gave his daughter the biggest smile he knew how to give.

"Hi baby girl." He outstretched his arms and bonnie jumped into them. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around. She tightened her legs around his waist. She felt just like she did when she was little and he'd surprise her and come back early from his business trips. She melted into his arms and let him cradle her. It's been so long since she's been held like this. He held her so tight, it was nice to not be alone in this house.

"I missed you so much baby." He said into her hair.

"me too dad." Bonnie pressed her head into his neck. It feels like an hour before he sets her down.

"Have you grown?" He cocks his head to the side and examines her.

She laughs "No dad, forever 5'3" She forgets how easy their banter was and how much she missed his teasing of her height.

"So catch me up. How are things at school? Caroline and Elena?" He wraps an arm around her shoulders drawing her in to his side and guiding them to the living room.

"Everything's good. The same." She bonnie said softly.

"No news on cheer? On classes? or Boys?" He says the last one with a faux disgusted face. Bonnie doubled over laughing uncontrollably.

She wanted to continue but she saw him yawn she opens up her mouth to talk but he cuts her off.

"Baby girl how about I get some sleep and we catch up later over takeout and I can show you all the pictures I took." He stood up from the couch. Bonnie felt disappointment flow through her body but she hoped it didn't show.

"As long as all the pictures aren't so zoomed up and I can't see the inside of your nose, you've got a deal." She teases. He chuckles.

"Oh she has jokes." His lips turned in a smile. He left shortly after telling bonnie again how much he missed her. She comes to realize she missed this feeling. This feeling that she mattered in his life and how little of that she felt before. She's never the center but always in the background to be misused and forgotten after she fixes their problems. She goes back to her room to finish her science homework. When she gets on her bed she sees she has a text message , Kol texted back.

_Do whatever makes you most comfortable, darling. Don't forget my place tonight. _

She drops her phone without responding and groans.

_This shouldn't be hard. You just have to stop thinking and start doing _Bonnie thinks to herself.

Yet it's so incredibly unlike bonnie. To stop thinking, it's what she does all the time, think. Weighing the negatives and positive to see which outweighs the other. It's how she lost herself and her connection to her magic. She used her magic for Damon and Stefan and said it was for Caroline and Elena, that without her magic they'd die and she couldn't let that happen so she overused her magic, pushed it to the throttle and now she can't feel her magic like she used to. She's waiting for it to come back but how about if it never does? Bonnie shakes her head to clear her head of the doubts.

_It will come back. _She thinks to herself. It starts rain shorty after her dead came back so she quickly gets dressed to head to Kol's cabin in the woods. She leaves a note for her dad _"Be back later meeting a partner for a class project"_

"Ah little witch you're late." Kols tell her as she glides past him into his cottage.

"'Maybe if your cottage wasn't in the outskirts of nowhere I wouldn't always be late."She makes her way to the living room and drops her bag on the armchair and sits besides it and then drops her head back and sighs deeply staring at his ceiling.

Something feels off with her, yes she's usually snarky but she never looks dejected, Bonnie Bennett has hope for everyone even a monster like him but never for herself. "Okay I'll put my therapist on just this once, spill it darlin'." He sits opposite of her so he has full view of her.

"My dad's back." She said in a monotone voice. She continues "Don't get me wrong i'm happy he's back, that the house has another heartbeat in it other than me but surprisingly I don't feel any less lonely." She lifts her to see his face. He pities her. How sad and pathetic her life was. She hated him for it. Her life was sad and pathetic because of the supernatural. The supernatural took her mother, took her grandmother and now it's taking her.

He clears his throat. "Bonnie I-"

"Don't." She glares at him.

They sit in silence and let the drum of the rain fill the tension filled the air. The air is charged with resentment and pain whether it's hers or his no one knows. She's tired. Tired of being angry, of being lonely and mostly scared of ending like all the women in the Bennett line, Dead and alone. Kol's tries a new way because clearly being her therapist isn't smart since she does trust him much.

"What makes you most happy Bonnie." He's the first person to truly ask her. How sad he's not even someone she considers a friend.

"I- I," Bonnie tries to figure out what to say but she's drawing up blank.

"I don't know" She whispers to herself. Kol crouches down in front of her and looks softly into her eyes,It's scary how human he looks bonnie thinks, he almost looks like a regular teenage boy.

"We'll figure it out, love." Kol said. She believes him, she doesn't trust him or know him but she believes he can help and she can help him. When he looks into her eyes like that she feels not so lonely anymore like someone understands her, that someone is saying she is worth something. Bonnie doesn't need the lines between her a Kol to blur, she's good, he's not, she's kind and he's vindictive. She's ordinary and he's wild and uninhabited. But when he looks at her like she wonders how different are they really?

"We need ground rules for our agreement or whatever this is." She needs to keep him and this situation contained before it does more harm than good.

"Way to ruin a moment, darlin'."

Bonnie stands to get away from him suddenly feeling her throat tighten up. "That wasn't a moment Kol," whether she was trying to convince herself or Kol she didn't want to think about it.

"Ground rules are boring, they ruin the process of taking risk." He said, taking the drink he made and sitting in the armchair bonnie had just gotten up from.

She gives him a tight smile "Ground rules keep me from trying to give you aneurysms every five minutes."

He pouts at her remark but doesn't refute it.

"Boo, you're no fun."

Kol sighs as if exasperated from the confrontation "Fine, but if I happen to fall asleep please don't wake me." He gets comfortable on the couch as if he's about to doze off .Bonnie rolls her eyes. Yeah, she doesn't think this arrangement will be lasting long.

"One, No talking about this in public, my friends can't find out I'm talking to you and your family can't know either. Two, no flirting, I know it's in your nature and while the whole sexy bad boy thing was cool when I was 13, it's not anymore and lastly what we do together stays between us, I need that or this won't work."

"Well, of course darling. The first rule of fight club." Kol waits for her to finish the infamous line.

Kol immediately sits up right and gives bonnie an astonished face "No!, don't tell me you haven't watched the film bennett."

"Fine I won't."

"Oh, Bonnie, I have so much to teach you. Forget everything and let me teach you about good cinematic movies." Kol says. Bonnie rolls her eyes and moves to retrieve her bad from the armchair Kol is sitting on.

"You see, everything's a joke to you even this. I knew I couldn't trust you, nothing matters to any of you unless it's for power." Bonnie snatches her bag and goes for the door , before she can leave Kol speeds in front of her blocking her from leaving.

"I'm just jesting, darling. I take our work together very seriously."

Bonnie glares at him. "My life is not a funny joke for you, Kol. It's taking a lot for me to come here and do this with you, lying to the people I care about, I don't even want to think about how my grams would think of me if she saw me with a vampire. So either take this seriously or we can drop it, Let me know which one you decide." Bonnie leaves a dumbfounded Kol behind and heads home.

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB

"_Bonnie Bennett you better be dead because I've called you 3 times. Call me back asap or I expose for still writing in your one direction diary."_

Bonnie listened to Caroline's voicemail, while opening the house door. She'd call caroline once she settled in.

"Hey, you." Bonnie jumps.

"Dad! you scared the hell out of me!" She has her hand over her rapidly beating heart. He's in the kitchen plating the chinese food he must of ordered for them.

"Sorry baby girl." He says giving her a bemused smile.

"How about you freshen up and come tell me where you went, you look beat."

"Thanks dad just what a teenage girl wants to here." She teases and runs upstairs to her bathroom

She looks at herself in the mirror and winces her dad was right. She examines her face, she has dark circles and doesn't have a glow to her face. She looks as dead as she feels. She splashes water on her face and heads to her room to change. As she's changing her phone starts to ring. It's Caroline, _God she's persistent bonnie thinks._

"Hey, Care."

"Don't "Hey care" me" Caroline mimics. "I've been calling you for hours, it's a 911 emergency." Bonnie rolls her eyes, Caroline's definition of an emergency is a little different from hers and pretty much everyone else. Caroline thinks an emergency is when her favorite American Eagle jeans have sold out in her size or she doesn't have plans for the weekend.

"My dad came back, I was busy spending time with him." Bonnie didn't feel as guilty because it was part of the truth just not the whole truth.

"Hmmm, okay, I guess that's a passable excuse. I thought you were dead!"

Bonnie laughs, the theatrics of Caroline Frobes will never not be amusing. Bonnie moves to drawers get a black cami and some shorts to change into. "What's up care?"

"Oh right, the emergency, Rebekah Mikaelsons is throwing a party at the same time as Elena's 17th surprise party! Like who the HELL does she think she is! She just walks into our town and think she controls the scene! Like hell! This means fucking war!" Caroline rants heatedly.

"I need you to say something bonnie! What should our plan be?"

"Maybe we should move Elena's party a week later. I don't think we need war with Rebakah Mikaeleson right now." Bonnie says. Always the one to be the level head because she know if anything happens she's gonna clean up the mess. Caroline groans.

"Tyler said the same thing, but honestly he doesn't understand but you too bonnie! Really! Just let her win and know she has power over us!"

"Okay, fine lets have two parties on the same night then." Bonnie tries to appease her.

"Bonnie, I love you,and I know you hate conflict but we can't let them do whatever they want, we have to fight and the bitch Rebekah can't outshine us and Elena on her birthday ."

"Bonnie! dinner!" Her dad yells down from the stairs. Bonnie never been so glad to be called for dinner in her life.

"Coming Dad! Look Care, I gotta go, we'll talk tomorrow."

"K, brainstorm some good ideas to outshine Rebekah."

To anyone else they'd think she was being sarcastic but she was dead serious. Bonnie laughed and said "Bye Care."

Walking downstairs Bonnie stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Kol Mikaelson. In her house. Her dad was shaking his hand. A wave of emotions crashed Bonnie all at once. Confusion. Worry. A tingle in the bottom of her stomach. But mostly anger. Hot molten anger. _How dare he come here unannounced! _This felt too personal, him in her home, the place she felt safest because she knew it was a no vampire zone and yet here he was trampling over her the safeness she felt here.

"Bonnie, your friend came to talk to about some school project." Her dad looked like he was going to ask more questions but the phone rang so he went.

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at Kol who kept dodging her icy glares.

"I suspected you would be angry." His voice leveled and calm like he was defusing a bomb, which was true because bonnie was close to exploding. He continued " I don't do well with feelings, and you have many of them.I- uh." Kol was suddenly flushed. He just came here to apologize and say he'd do better but here she was anger blazing in her eyes and he wanted.. he wanted her to understand him. "I don't deal well with others but I was wrong to joke about your rules. I'll do better, love. " This was the first time she'd ever seen him let his guard down, it was nerve racking, to see the man behind the facade. She was angry he made her felt dumb. She was angry he'd came to her house. Mostly angry at herself for liking this version of him a little bit. She inhaled and exhaled as if to extinguish her anger.

"My rules still stand, I'll help you if you help me, this is all you get, not friendship but partnership, got it?" Her voice is void of emotion and he doesn't like it. He knows he lost whatever companionship he had with her when he didn't take her serious and he'll fight for it back.

"Deal." He extends his hand out. She looks at him wearily but shakes his hand. She feels warm all over because of it. She quickly pulls away and he clears his throat. After a beat Kol says

"I have our first plan."

"Not here with my dad but i'll meet you after he falls asleep."

"Breaking the rules are we?" He gives her cheeky grin. She rolls her eyes.

"Bye Kol." She leads him to the door and just before he's about to leave he tells her

"Don't be late or i'll give homework little witch."

All Bonnie can think is _he's gonna be my demise._

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB

"Late as ever darlin'" Kol reprimands her. "You know when a person tells you they'll be on time you expect the fellow to honor it and be on time." He's leaning against his Red Audi R8 drinking something that looks awfully like blood. He texted her and told her to meet him at school because Rebekah was crashing at his place.

She gave him a tight smile. "I did the best I could." She's dressed in her pjs due to tricking her dad into thinking she was going to bed. They weren't very thick and of course it had to be the coldest night of the week. "Can we get on with it? it's cold and I'm tired."

"In you go witch" He opens the door to his car and she immediately feels the heat coming for it. She goes in quickly. No time to ponder whether she was crossing the lines between enemies or friendship. She was cold and he had a warm car and that's all that matters. Once seated Kol reaches for a manila file. It's filled with a spreadsheet with Bonnie's name and activities she's to do and when.

"Tomorrow is my sisters winter party and you will be attending. It's at 9 pm and lasts until 1 am. you'll stay for about 3 hours and-"

"No" She Immediately cuts him off. _was he insane? Bonnie thinks_ and she voices it.

"Are you insane? tomorrow is Elena's birthday, I can't be caught there, it'll be the biggest betrayal to Care and Elena."

He rolls his eyes, _the theatrics of teenage girls he thinks. _"Then don't get caught. Have you ever lied or sneaked around when you know you shouldn't? Have you ever known the thrill of doing something you know you shouldn't have? It makes your heart pound, it's unlike anything to do something dirty. I can give you many situations and teach you many things through them but if you don't actually do them there's no point in our partnership. So decide little witch." She chews on her bottom lip and goes over it. She doesn't know of the thrill you get when sneaking around because she's done everything with Care and Elena. But apart of her longs for it and she finds that she's 17 and she's never sneaked around like most of the teens her age, like Caroline and Elena have probably done. She knows deep down she's scared and hates it. She's not scared to risk her life and overwork herself or fight vampires that could kill but she's scared to do one thing for herself without Elena or Caroline.

"Fine." Bonnie said. Kol grins pleased she's doing it.

"You'll need a date." He continues and Bonnie chokes on her tongue. She whips her narrowed eyes at him so fast he thinks she almost snaps it.

"Like hell I do." She draws a line at her love life. She's not that pathetic that she needs help from Kol to get a boyfriend.

Kol finds him coughing to cover his laugh. Her anger just might be the most adorable thing to him. She's still lethal don't get him wrong.

"We learn and grow a lot about ourselves and others by our romantic relationships and I might have heard of a Josh, fellow saying he wanted to ask you to Rebekah party in the locker room." She thinks it over.

"Fine" She says through a clenched jaw.

"But if Caroline kills me-"

"I'll resurrect you" He gives her boyish grin, that gives her knots in her stomach. She's too tired to think what that means. She yawns and they it's time to go. He leaves and goes to open her door. As they walk back to her car she looks up at him and ask

"Do you think i'll do it?" Her voice comes out soft.

"If I know anything about you-"

"You know nothing about me." She says laughing

he ignores her "is that you aim for success in everything you do and this will be no different."

She's never heard someone have so much confidence in her. It does something to her, it makes her feel seen. Bonnie Bennett is seen.. even if it's by Kol Mikealson.

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB

To say she's nervous is an understatement. She arrives at the party no later than 10:30 pm. She bumps through shoulders of people she's known her whole life but that don't know her. It must be more than a couple hundred. The Mikaelson mansion is filled with drunk and unsuspecting teenagers. How charming, she thinks. She hears a crash and turns her head to see a footballer who knocked over a vase, judging by the look of it, it was rather expensive like most things in this place. Soon Rebekah is pushing people over to get to him. She feels like it's forever before she actually reaches the bar station.

"Light beer please." She tells the bartender

"What a bore." Kol teases coming out of rolls her eyes. But Bonnie could feel him watching her since she had texted her repeatedly during the night about her whereabouts and advising her to ditch the "blonde & brunette" as he referred to Caroline and Elena.. But ditching them wasn't as easy of a task as he thought. Caroline was always dragging them to take pictures in the photo booth and to dance on Damon's expensive table. Everytime she was about to sneak out one of the pair brought her back. Finally, she told them she did a spell last night for Ester (which she actually had) and it was starting to affect her. Instead of ruining their night she told them she was going home to sleep it off. She felt guilty on her way here and thought several times of not showing but she made a deal with the devil and she intended to keep it. And the deal just kept biting her in the ass because now she was here and was about to make a fool out of herself talking to Josh, the cute baseball player, that she was possibly crushing on.

"Take a sip and off you go to the Josh bloke." Kol tells her.

She downs her beer and uses it as liquid courage and then off she goes again through the crowd of teenagers to Josh, who is sitting with a group and playing spin the bottle. She feels Kol follow her and she doesn't know whether she's glad or even more nervous that he'll see her make a fool of herself. She doesn't feel, look or act like herself right now. She's dressed in a leather skirt and blue tube top she bought ages ago. She's now a girl who drinks. She sneaks away and lies. And now she's going to approach this guy and do what with him? She has no idea. She sits right across from him on plush all white couch. The glass table is in the middle of them where 10 people all surround it.

His eyes light up when he sees her "Bonnie B! you made it! And looking smokin' hot at that." he quickly got up from his seat and came to sit next to her. She gave him a small smile and dipped her face to cover the light blush that had formed. He lowered his voice and came to whisper in her ear "I was hoping you came." She looked up in his eyes and saw he was actually sincere. Their eye contact broken when a guy on the floor surrounding the table said "Any new comers to play?"

"We will." Josh volunteered Bonnie and him. Panic rose with her immediately. She definitely wasn't reading to make out with him in a closet in the Mikelson mansion. She immediately searched for Kol, she wanted him to take her out of this situation. She searched and searched and searched until her green eyes laid with his brown ones. He saw her apprehension and mouthed "Breath."

She breathed. The game started and one by one, everyone got a turn to spin the bottle. One by one, everyone got up and left for seven minutes in a Closet in the Mikelson mansion. Her palms got sweatier and sweatier with each person that was closer to her. _You can do this bonnie. It's just seven minutes. You've killed vampires in less time then that. _

Finally, it's time for her to spin it. She can almost feel Josh praying it him. She looks up and she looks up at Kol and he's giving her a smirk. She glares. It's their thing really. She steals her nerves, wipes her sweaty palms and reaches for the bottle, her heart pounding so long in her ears that she can't even hear the music play. And she spins the bottle. With every spin her heart beats erratically. It stops and she feels the air leave her lungs.

"Shit" She whispers.

"Shit" He mutters.

The bottle just had to land on him, her teacher, her partner, her nemesis. Kol Mikealson. Just her luck.

* * *

Well! That's the chapter! Thank you for reading it and please please leave a review no matter how short or minuscule it is greatly welcomed. Next chapter will be here a bit later. I'm publishing a new fic soon after this one so keep a look out for it! Follow me on tumblr wearesocitey and twitter jemcarstairs for updates!Thank you again and see you soon!


End file.
